In April of 2006 my world was turned upside down. I suddenly found out I was getting a divorce. Nothing about it was easy. Apparently my close “friend” from across the street had seduced my husband.
He was remodeling our house so I had to move out and get an apartment. “My 2 children” were actually stepdaughters and I had no idea what our relationship would be going forward. The 3 of us took this sudden change in our own ways, each one struggling with the pain we didn’t expect.
I had abandonment issues from my childhood so I felt like I was a three year old trying to make it in the world alone. The horror of what I was going through impacted some decisions I was making at work and one of them almost cost me my job. Every time I didn’t think anything could be any worse, something would happen that would knock me down again.
I cried and cried and cried.
I was sure my life was over.
But inside, I wasn’t dead. There was a spark in there that I decided to nurture. I decided that I wasn’t just going to survive this unthinkable situation, I was going to thrive.
Another post can go into more detail about how I made it through but that’s not what this post is about.
This post is about how when you think your life as you know it is over, or when you’re in a super low spot, you likely think you will not survive.
I’m here to tell you, you will.
I am convinced, through the trials I’ve experienced and the joys which have followed, that things work in ways you’d never expect.
I ran into my ex-husband at Whole Foods a couple years ago. What was bizarre was how much love I still felt for him. Not like I wished we were still together love but we used to be married and you’re still in my heart, love.
It was super bizarre for me. Lol, like an out of body experience. Ok it was a trip.
In the end though, it opened a door and over the last couple of years we started to build a new and different relationship. A friendship.
Also, Jim is a remodeling contractor and it’s been perfect to be able to ask him for referrals on plumbers, electricians etc. It felt good to have a trusting and kind connection to this man.
And we forged ahead in joy over the success of his daughter Jamie who stopped drinking after many destructive years, has a great job, created a FB group for people who are doing sober, and has started up a podcast, The Hangover Chronicles!
The other night the three of us went out for dinner to celebrate my December, 60th birthday. Did you get that?? The three of us went. out. to. dinner. After almost 14 years. And had fun!
I’ve come through so many hard places to find life on the other side, even 14 years later. Don’t judge your hardships. Live, even if you only tend to a spark to keep it glowing until you can get yourself moving forward or upwards again.
Maybe you can think about it like this:
When you’re in a dark spot you think you’ve been buried. Perhaps you’ve been planted…Bloom.